” The morning of the Anniversary Bill made sure Suzy would be the one to answer the door as he waited anxiously in the other room. ” Hollered Suzie angrily holding up his well thought out note, “Happy Anniversary You’re Number Two! But there was one thing that drove Mary absolutely crazy, and that was no matter how many times she told Dave how important it was to her that he come on time for dinner, he never did. It was a nice way to pass the time and the men enjoyed it immensely. It was after one such spat that he got down on his knees and said “Mary, I promise I am turning over a new leaf. ” Well, the next day, promptly at 5 o’clock, Dave locked up his shop and headed out the door to his car. John’s wife wasn’t so fond of her husband’s poker playing. “Honey”, said John, two minutes later, “please get me another one quickly “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING! Adam responded with a wave of his hand, “I just lost track of the time.” Now Eve didn’t have a Mother or girlfriend around to calm her fears, after all it was just her and her Husband and despite Adam’s convincing act her overactive imagination could not be calmed. “YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHAT I’M DOING” Screamed Eve right back, “NOW YOU BETTER LAY STILL RIGHT NOW, AND LET ME FINISH COUNTING THOSE RIBS! I have something very important to tell you,” said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation. ” Gushed her Mom giving her a big hug, “I hope you two will be really happy together! ” “Tell us more about him” said her Dad, “does he have any money? ” “Harry,” whined Mary, to her husband of 20 years. My face is all wrinkly, my back is bent over, and my hair is all thinned out.” “Well,” said Harry after looking her up and down, “There is one thing about you that still works as good as new.” “Oh Harry! “C’mon Harry, please tell me what you were referring to.” “Mary, please don’t make me.” “Harry I insist.” “Well I was going to remark about how your eyesight seems to be working just fine! Sam watched in amusement as John and Abe, each convinced that they had the better hand, slowly put their life savings into the pot. But rather than continue to moan about the seemingly never-ending stream of 'd**k pics', the 27-year-old decided to flip the script, sending pictures of a vagina — which she found online — to 40 men she matched with on the dating app Bumble and documenting their reactions for Thrillist.Far from being met with the same shock and revulsion that many women express in similar situations however, the Los Angeles resident was surprised to find that every single one of the men who responded wanted to meet her, with several returning gross and often hilarious replies.Instead, she searched online and eventually settled on one that had her skin tone and looked 'cute'.She then downloaded Bumble, a dating app she chose because it allows users to send pictures within the app, instead of having to move to actual text messages.Once it was on her phone, she searched for men aged 22 to 60 and swiped right on everyone who popped up on her screen.
I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Mine isn't all that chatty but the other day I asked it, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning? Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. How long a minute is depends onwhich side of the bathroom door you're on. Life is an endles struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like. Apparently, joking about how bad marriage is helps ease some of the queasiness. ” said Harry raising his voice, “I’m the only one who knows that they are pinching my darn feet!!! So by all means; men, please laugh with our collection of marriage jokes, marriage puns, and marriage quotes. If you’re a lady or a chilled man who just wants a good laugh please enjoy, you won’t be disappointed. ” “So Grandpa” asked Dave at his engagement party “your marriage to Grandma is legendary everyone talks about how you two get along so well and never fight, what’s the secret to your marital success?