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    Divorced and dating tips

    If this is where you find yourself right now here’s what I learned about dating after divorce – things I came to realise and things I’d recommend if you’re feeling unsure or even terrified. Have a clear idea of what you want from online dating – Are you looking for a new partner or for someone to go on occasional dates with? If you’re looking for long-term commitment, there’s no point in falling for someone who’s looking for a quick fling. This isn’t about a long shopping list of requirements but it’s worth getting some sense of what you hold dear. Write a great online profile – Spend time writing a great profile that stands out from the crowd, with as few clichés as possible. If you have a heavy and disillusioned heart with negative inner dialogue, it’s not the right time to be looking for a mate. Be open-minded – you never know who you might meet if you can finally avoid looking for or dating what you believe to be ‘your type’. Last but not least, remember to enjoy yourself, have fun and lighten up.

    Who better to give tips to men for dating after divorce than a therapist who has a huge patient population of divorced men?

    The majority of my divorced clients, most of whom were married for 15-25 years, quickly discover that the modern dating scene is very different from what they once remember.

    Add to this, that many divorcees admit they never really “dated” much before getting married, and so post-divorce they also find themselves having to how to date.

    Divorce was not something I had in my plans when I said my wedding vows at the altar as much as I would’ve never imagined myself dating in midlife.

    Yet there I was, doing both – 45 and single again (happily it has to be said) and wondering where to start over with a new life.

    Your kids may feel a mixed bag of emotions about you dating and even harbor fantasies that you will reconcile with your ex-spouse.

    This might make it a challenge for them to accept someone you are dating into their lives.

    It often feels daunting, there is uncertainty about how/where to start, and then add to it how damaged he may feel from being divorced, many men avoid the process all together.Many dads take a long time to recover before they are ready to date again; and some are ready within a few weeks or months.But when you are ready to start dating and developing relationships again, the dating scene for a divorced dad is loaded with pitfalls.That said, there are a lot of positive things about “mature” dating.There are numerous reasons for divorce, but one of the most common is that partners have grown apart, with either one or both partners expressing changes in their values and/or direction in life.

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