Bonus points if you just finished dating every guy in town but now want to take your time with me.My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sh*ty bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by a loud screaming match and culminating in an ashtray blow to the head - yours or mine, it doesn't really matter.In the previous section, we showed you how to select great photos for your profile.Now it's time to write a kick-ass bio that describes how awesome you are!Here is some helpful advice and a few valuable tips: 1) Be Different - Most Profiles Look Exactly the Same!

Each profile is different in the same way that each person is different – so we’ve showcased three of the most common “types” of online dating profiles.

Everything I need to know about life I got from watching Jerry Springer.

In my free time I have written a thesaurus that included an emphasis on the most useful curses. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless statistics, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

YOU: You are a man-hating, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and utopic expectations.

Over time you will blame me and grow hostile when I don't fulfill every need you've ever had.