Not all sex is the same, even if it is with the same person. From looking each other in the eye, to caressing the small of the back, to gentle thrusts; every touch, every look, and every little bit of contact matters when you make love. Fucking, or having sex for sex's sake, is about reaching climax, whereas lovemaking is about enjoying every part of the process.If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, has it made a sound?The intrigue this question provokes is related to a central idea in postmodern philosophy, which is; a phenomena cannot be truly perceived apart from the context in which it is situated.By not disclosing the affair you are altering your experience of your partner.No matter how much you may deny this, the very act of deception leads to their devaluation. Those are not mere words, but different ways of connecting sexually. But, the most important distinction is between when it is having sex — let's call it what it really is, aka, fucking — vs making love.
But what we are seeing are animals behaving in cages while experiencing being observed by humans.Their behavior is altered in ways that prevent us from knowing their most true nature. If you are having a secret affair and still trying to carry on your primary relationship as though nothing has changed, you are under an illusion, which is; what you are observing about your primary relationship is unaffected by your secret.In the previous post I described some of what happens to your partner once they get the sense that something is going on, but here I want to address what happens to you in your primary relationship.A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life.There is a mutual feeling of love and respect and you are both in sync with each others needs and wants.